im baaaaaack!

well HELLO there!
or as we say in austin, hola!
jk nobody says that.
listen friends, it has been far too long.
that's my fault.

the journey to texas was long but fun.
max did most of the driving.
which left me with just enough time to perfect the self portrait.



there are about 50 more of these.
i think max wanted to kill me.

stopped in NC and ATL.
max's parents were cute.
new orleans was really smelly, but the jambalaya was great.
it was pretty mind blowing seeing how the city is still not completely rebuilt post-katrina.

even abe is concerned.

we were siked to reach texas

and even more siked to finally make it to austin


truth be told, it has been kind of a nightmare since getting to austin.
the apartment was locked upon arriving.
nobody would answer the phone
the after hours line hung up on me
the management company changed a few days before we arrived
so nobody knew i was coming
and when i finally did sign a lease the next day
the apartment had no AC and it literally just got fixed yesterday
and in 100 degree weather
that meant we were staying at a hotel for dayzzz.

skewl has been really tough
we have learned an entire semester of accounting in 4 days.
my brain literally ached on my way out today.
but i made it, i think i get most of it
and i'm super glad i came down early for it.

the people are ok, i'm working on finding some friends
but it's tough because nobody is like you, friend.
<3

austin itself is literally heaven.
we have explored a little
there is so much more to see
come and visit already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK well i owed you a marathon blogg and hair it is.
i have a week off
max found a job so he starts monday.
i, on the other hand, will be practicing sitting by the pool and sweating.
weeeee!

signing off,
cereal.

sayonora monday blues

well hello there.
today is the last monday i will be working for pretty much ever.
or at least a year.
to sum it up
that feels fucking fantastic.

sayonara monday blues you don't even exist anymore.

also you may be wondering if i learned how to drive a scooter this weekend.
well i tried.
but i fell a lot and my legs are all bruised
i screamed pretty much the entire time
and lets just say i'm never doing that again.
scooter's are hard despite their innocent childish name.
scooters are not a toy
they destroy everything.

onto better news.
a 13 year old girl has fallen in love with piper and i'm really hoping she keeps her
she wants to take piper to pony club and 4h.
i don't think that gets any cuter.

finally, once this week is over, it's straight up heaven for weeks
july 4th weekend of fun and fantasies minus the fantasies double the fun
ladies weekend plus max times infiniti
plus a road trip to texas
= love everywhere

californication

FINALLY showtime put the third season of californication on demand. as you may recall, i was melting all over the place for this show before. so far i have only been able to see the first 4 episodes of season 3, but is it just me or are we over this show?! i mean i'll keep watching because the first 2 seasons turned my soul into warm goo, but can hank just go to celebrity sex rehab with dr. drew orrrr what. he is gross and what ever happened to love.
LOVE YOUR DAMN WIFE HANKIEPANTS.
ok maybe you're not married but COME ON ALREADY.
jesus.

chicka chicka yeahh

things are really great, can you tell?
ok ok i'm freaking out a little.
mostly about everything.
for one thing, i had my last ride on piper last night
and it was really fun
she has turned out to be the most awesome horse
which makes me feel good that i was a part of that
but also just really sad.
cryfest2010 is going to start any minute now.

secondly,
i played an impromptu game of peekaboo with a little girl at home depot yesterday
but her dad hated her
is that even fair?!
can someone start having kids soon?
(ahem) (michelle) (wink wink)

point three.
ONE WEEK COUNTDOWN TO QUITTING MY STUPID JOB STARTS TODAYYY MOTHERFUCKERS
life is about to be so grand.

fourth and finallyyy
the goodbyes are starting, first piper
then all of you lovely birds.
this is getting harder than week old french bread
and i am so sad to be leaving you feathered friends.
i mean the blog will live on.
but im just so sad we can't hang out all the time.
you know?!

well on that note, cryfest2010 is actually starting now, so i gotta go!

bye!

pineapple express

ACTUALLY EXISTS??!?!?!?!?!

bonus.

manute bol :(

didn't we see him at zaytinya on my birthing day this past year? wellllll he died today at age 47. that is just bizarre. read this.

in other news: there are some pretty cute little places to live in austin and soon i am doing it.

hopefullyyyy i will be hanging out in this courtyard and this pool every minute. the realtor said a lot of the tenants are musicians and artists and they play music in the courtyard. chances are i think we found heaven.


in other news: google "eeyore's birthday" and then tell me why you haven't booked tickets to come to austin that weekend. here is a sneak peek:

yep.

you might be wondering

what the cutest horse in the world looks like.

here she is.

(here i yam)

its been a while, but don't worry, i'm back.
what have i been doing you ask?
mostly just eating greek yogurt with honey and granola.
but that is neither here nor there.

lately it feels like i am walking around with a ton of bricks in my britches
but i think mostly i'm just in this strange inbetween
inbetween israel and america
inbetween heaven and earth
inbetween this life and the next
butttt here i yam, still in this life, somehow back on earth, back in america.

i just read over a lot of my old blogs and i'm finally feeling like me again.
also remember when i wanted fire out of 2010?
and then there was a serious fire in my building?
hahahahah!
also remember how i blogged about how awesome austin is
and now i am moving there?
also remember about all those urban bats?
i knew this year was going to be different, and boy has it started off with a banggg.

phillyfuntimes on fridayyy.
finding an apartment in austin june 19.
finding piper a new home by june 26.
last day at work july 2.
what are we doing for july 4?!
max is coming july 6.
road trip to austin starts july 14.
stopping in atlanta and new orleans.
new beginnings in austin start july 17.

well anyway, i have nothing to say anymore. buttt let's get down to business and hang out a little before i leave.

bye bye bye!

and the boys

loving this

shirtless wonder

today i was walking to buy stamps for my dumb job and i found myself walking next to a local celebrity.

meet shirtless dude.

he runs around georgetown and dupont, he always has his shirt off and is wearing a bandana, and he usually is well oiled. he is always listening to music, he is more than likely really pumped about his tunes, and he is always running or doing push-ups usually in the middle of everything. he is sometimes shouting, but always dancing. he is also more than likely homeless but boy is he ripped. he kept stopping to look in cars so i got nervous he was scoping them out to steal them, but then it turns out he was just checking himself out in the reflection. awesome shirtless dude. awesome.

shalom motherfuckers!

back in america
back to work
back to life
back to reality

a lot happened in israel.
we can't speak about it because i'm heartbroken to be back.
but here are some pictures.




in other news: 1 month countdown to quitting my job starts today.

also, i am officially moving to austin on july 29.

c u next time!

holy shirts and pants

well my friends. it is that time again. it seems like just yesterday i was blogging about my two year anniversary at my job. you may remember: i kind of wanted to off myself.

however, i made it through another year, and my how things have changed. let's take a look!

May 7, 2007: happy and hopeful
May 7, 2009: bitter and angry
May 7, 2010: renewed and ready

May 7, 2007: overachiever at my job. sometimes i amaze myself.
May 7, 2009: hardcore underachiever. sometimes i amaze myself.
May 7, 2010: i cannot believe i still receive paychecks. i am pretty fucking amazing.

May 7, 2007: lots of interests, maybe law, maybe other things
May 7, 2009: not that interested in anything besides figuring out how i will never have to work again.
May 7, 2010: two years of not working, coming up! i hope i can get all the cobwebs out of my brain before skewl starts!

May 7, 2007: what's a blog?
May 7, 2009: blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
May 7, 2010: bleg bleg bleg bleg bleg bleg bleg

May 7, 2007: commute to work: 2 minute walk to metro, 8 minute metro ride.
May 7, 2009: commute to work: 1 hour and 10 minute drive, on a good day.
May 7, 2010: commute to work: 15 minutes, 10 on a great day.

May 7, 2007: horses are cool, but they're not a big part of my life anymore
May 7, 2009: dante was a good buy. broken horses rule! jk dants i love your bones.
May 7, 2010: dante :( oh that just made me so sad. rest in peace buddy. piper, let's get to selling your cute little buns.

May 7, 2007: man i can barely afford rent.
May 7, 2009: man i can barely fit these money rolls in my bags made of money taped together
May 7, 2010: who needs money let's live off trees and freedom and eat wheat paste

May 7, 2007: gosh this boyfriend chris of mine who is broke and lives in centreville is pretty cool.
May 7, 2009: ME AND MY EXBOYFRIEND CHRIS ARE MEETING FOR DRINKS TONIGHT?! What the....
May 7, 2010: i might be gay or something. where is mario.

May 7, 2007: i like tangerines
May 7, 2009: tangerines suck. so does everything else. everything sucks.
May 7, 2010: tangerines, you know when i was young, i used to loooove tangerines. back in the old days. when kids had to walk to school! and the internet didn't exist!

May 7, 2007: i like apples.
May 7 ,2009: i'm so tired of apples. apples suck.
May 7, 2010: apples! can't wait to give one to my teacher on the first day of class!

May 7, 2007: alissa's cool she doesn't smell that much
May 7, 2009: man alissa stinks someone should tell her or something.
May 7, 2010: alissa, i'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you smell like roses and i may need to marry you.

DONT FORGET the sandwiches.

I just received this email from my dad and I am literally laughing out loud. It is really sweet and thoughtful but his notes at the bottom are so funny! WHAT NEEDS TO BE IDENTIFIED?!

Jessie,
I talked to the Israeli guy in my office and he suggested the following:

1. Bug/Mosquito spray
2. Band aid or small first aid kit
3. Sun Screen - it it very hot
4. A hat
5. A resuable water bottle
6. A good backpack
7. Beach Slippers for the Dead Sea Trip and the next day (muddy and sandy -
u can't walk with shoes)
8. 2 pair of good walking shoes (sneakers)
9. Several SD storage chips for your camera
10. An Adaptor for converting to Israel electricity system - to
charge you phone/camera
11. Painkillers
12. Inform the credit card company that you will be in Israel and the dates

NOTE: all of the above should be in your suitcase and you must be able to identify them
when you leave and arrive
Also: You may want to make sandwiches and put them in you backpack while on
outings

mr. balloonhands. no way. get real.

so apparently this guy dropped acid and then they locked him in a closet and recorded him. pretty hilarious.

don't worry

i know from the post below it looks like i'm suicidal but i'm really not. i just got a little sad about it because he was my first horse and i spent so much time with him, and i also think they put him down out of spite because they were pissed when they heard that i am trying to sell piper. they are dicks.

in other news: i forgot to tell you about these million things

for example: i was invited to interview at UT Austin, had my interview with an alumni in dc last week, and i think it went well because he emailed me today saying he gave me a good recommendation. he also told me all kinds of inappropriate things during my interview, and while part of me thinks it was a set up to see if i would also be inappropriate, part of me also thinks maybe he is just a skeez. most of me also thinks he is really hotttt.

also: i was waitlisted at UNC. i'm a little bummed but mostly i just wanted a yes or a no so i could know for sure if i am smart or dumb.

oh gosh what else: i am going to israel one week from today that is scary and i have done absolutely nothing to prepare. eeeep.

oh yeah and i took some glam shots of piper to try and sell her. look at this babe:

r.i.p.

dante
august 2002 - april 26, 2010

i think its finally hitting me.
i hope horsie heaven treats you well my friend.
you were a wonderful beast.
everyone that met you fell in love with you.
i would have given anything to make you better.
but i guess some things really can't be fixed.
you deserved much better than this.
i'm sorry i couldn't fix you.
i hope your next life is better than the last.
i love you to pieces.
rest in peace.

< 3

show and tell

today for show and tell i will show you pictures of all of the men that i would like to marry and you can tell me which one i can have.

sawyer from lost duh.

jack from lost also duh
although that tattoo really has to go


is someone suffocating me?
no, it is just peter petrelli from heroes
he is so hot it is hard to breathe and look at him at the same time.



farrier


ok tally the votes.
can't wait to be married.

bye!

um, really?

women on submarines?
and gays?
AND NO CIGARETTES?!
but then people may not suffer from second hand smoke when they are trapped on a submarine under the water with you for years at a time.
and they might think people should be treated equally.

is this a joke?! how is there opposition to this in 2010!!!!!!

i can't even joke around about this anymore. i can't believe people say out loud that women and gays shouldn't be allowed on submarines, and i absolutely can't believe they have the gumption to quote about it in the newspaper. much less say that the reason they are opposed is because they want to strip down and man hug. this is insane. grow up you little babies, frat party is OVER.

"Hormones do not shut down just because you go out to sea and submerge for many months at a time," wrote Mason, 53, of Comer, Ga. He said sailors rely on various coping mechanisms to deal with the stress of extended deployments, including man hugs, rear-end patting and other rituals; another veteran cited a tradition in which submariners who cross the equator for the first time are required to strip to their underwear.

"Serving on board a submarine is not a place to be if you are self-conscious or have any doubts about your sexuality," Mason added. "Silliness, male-bonding, and what might be considered inappropriate or 'politically incorrect' behavior in a civilian environment are all useful techniques that allow a sailor to endure the difficult living conditions and time away from their families and mainstream life."

nick g. a history.

once upon a time we went to high school with nick g*
it was weird.
once i was hungry and i went to balduccis to make a sandwich and nick g* was working at the meat counter.
he touched my meat.
it was weird.
once a while ago i was on okc and nick g* found me and wrote me a message
it was weird.
once on sunday we were at rei trying to try on clothes when i spied nick g* doing just that.
naturally i ran away.
it was weird.

crack babies

lately all i have been doing is reading books about drugs and terrible childhoods and abusive foster homes and gangs and more drugs (a piece of cake by cupcake brown) and watching tv shows about addicts (sober house with dr. drew) and reading articles about drugs addicts (like this one about crack babies). first of all if you read the article don't even think of falling in love with ryan because when he gets out of jail he is mine (he still loves his birth mom who abandoned him because "she gave me life". and he got her name tattooed above his heart. sigh.)

stop judging me it's fine.

secondly, i have been thinking a lot about marriage in general and you know how all our parents were on drugs in the 70s so they probably all just took a few too many drugs and got married willy nilly and now the divorce rate is skyrocketing. well i think because we are all sad our parents don't love each other anymore, maybe our generation is going to bring back lifelong marriages.

third and finally, is this heaven?

(the weekend - 7 hours)
(find out about unc - 3 weeks)
(israel - 4 weeks)
(quit my job - 11 weeks)
(summer of unemployment/love/horses/cowboys/murder - 11.1 weeks)