self portrait

today seemed really great.
i got some new boots.
they are grey and happy.

then i got some new shampoo.
it smells like coconuts
and mangos.

then i went to hang out with madi.
she's the best.
things were looking really swell.

then i got home and found my apartment has no heat.
and now i want to light myself on fire.
and then die.

luckily californication season 2 finished downloading after 2 days so while i am freezing to death i can at least be in love with something.

im not even exxagerating. the radiators are completely frozen. like my body will be by morning.

well i guess this is goodbye.

forever.

friday night confessions.

today i tested the 5 second rule and it felt so right.
i made this pasta bake again but i had to use half and half instead of heavy cream because i was too lazy to go to the grocery store.
i'm not sure that was the best decision.
but i'm living with it.
it's really hard to watch celebrity rehab without drinking excessively.
wasted.
alissa's bus smells like poo but i think it might be her :(
sorry girl.
someone invited me to go to the georgetown game next weekend and they are playing nova and i thought that meant northern virginia community college.
apparently that actually means villanova.
oopsie.
remember the lady who had a planned dinner that i forgot about and so i showed up fucked up an hour and a half late?
i'm about to do it again. but i totally remembered this time.

let the games begin.

color my life with the chaos of trouble

A mile and a half on a bus takes a long time
The odour of old prison food takes a long time to pass you by
When you've been inside
Day upon day of this wandering gets you down
Nobody gives you a chance or a dollar in this old town

Hovering silence from you is a giveaway
Squalor and smoke's not your style
"I don't like this place"
We better go
Then I compare notes with your older sister
I am a lazy gett, she is as pure as the cold driven snow
She accepts my confession

What did you learn from your time in the solitary
Cell of your mind?
There was noises, distractions from anything good
And the old prison food
Colour my life with the chaos of trouble
Cause anything's better than posh isolation
1 missed the bus
You were laid on your back
With the boy from the arab strap
With the boy from the arab strap

It's something to speak of the way you are feeling
To crowds there assembled
Do you ever feel you have gone too far?
Everyone suffers in silence a burden
The man who drives minicabs down in Old Compton
The Asian man
With his love hate affair
With his racist clientele

A central location for you is a must as you stagger about making free with your lewd and lascivious boasts
We know you are soft cause we've all seen you dancing
We know you are hard cause we all saw you drinking from noon
Until noon again
You're the boy with the filthy laugh
You're the boy with the arab strap

Strapped to the table with suits from the shelter shop
Comic celebrity takes a back seat as the cigarette catches
And sets off the smoke alarm
What do you make of the cool set in London?
You're constantly updating your hit parade of your ten biggest wanks
She's a waitress and she's got style
Sunday bathtime could take a while

californication

is making me love sick. this show is amazing. watch it. right now. at work. i am. it feels great. and its breaking me into a million pieces all at the same time. oh my. i may never be the same.


gotta go, hankie's waiting.

call me chef

last night i made this five cheese baked pasta and while i may gain 20 pounds eating the entire casserole of it i don't think i mind. it's so good and so easy to make. i would have taken a picture but i was too busy stuffing it down my throat :)

weekend recap

this weekend was fantastically wonderful. things are a little blurry but here's what i can remember.

- me, baxter, izzy, and lou had a solid weekend of napping, eating leftover pizza, and sleeping some more. me and lou also decided we are soulmates.


- piper turned into a maniac. someone please take her.

- i miss dante :(

- wally family reunion <3

- played splitzies with melis at our favorite brunch spot. amazing.

- made my first recipe out of the soup bible and it was biblical no doubt.

- got a new book by a woman named cupcake. delicious.

- turns out i'm not as out of shape as i think i am.

- made the best bulletin board EVER. service day felt really good.

- took a practice GMAT, actually did fine, but my brain is still aching

you might want to see

these long awaited pictures from the holiday after-party.

out.
of.
control.

i give up.

eating ghiradelli intense dark chocolate and watching californication.

sorry job.

Alissa: you built this city

on cereal dates

cheerios and kisses

bill clinton

is a wonderful man.

please don't murder my sick pony.

well. apparently i am boarding piper at a barn in the middle of a drug circle. they found an 18-year old ONE BLOCK AWAY from the barn the other night at the end of someone's driveway. he was shot and killed. hmm i'm at the barn by myself ONLY ONE BLOCK AWAY at least a few times a week late at night. and i never leave my car doors locked. and i don't pack heat. neither does piper. also- i feel really weird that i had no idea the barn was in the middle of a drug ring. how did i not know?!

also- remember when that creepy dude helped me change my tire in that neighborhood at like 10pm and i was really freaked out?! maybe i was right about a) him being on drugs and b) him being super scary.

well. i'm locking my doors when i get to the barn now that's for sure. and i may need to invest in a bulletproof vest for me AND piper. we both have long lives to live.

peace be with you.

breaking news

well guys. i have some fantastic news. right off the press.

as we all know, i eat cherry garcia ice cream every day. as it is i have trouble feeling bad about it because well, i love it so so much.

however, i'm on a healthy kick lately, so i've been trying not to buy it. but it's breaking my heart.

yesterday i was in the grocery store and i made my usual mistake of walking down the frozen food isle and tempting myself with everything wonderful/terrible.

then i found you. you fucking delicious cherry garcia FROZEN YOGURT

!!!

and let me just tell you. not only is it fucking delicious. it is BETTER than the ice cream. and literally as bad for you as eating normal gross yogurt.

<3 loving life right now<3

i'm not gonna say i'm going

but i'm not gonna say i'm not going either...

"You may deny watching MTV's "Jerysey Shore" but basic statistics and the show's ratings suggest you're lying. Embrace your inner guido and head to McFaddens on Tuesday January 19 and party with unnaturally tanned cast members JWoww and Pauly D! The night will also kick off the bars new WTF Tuesday College Party, with $1 Miller High Life cans, $2 Blue Moon drafts, and $5 Jagerbombs from 8 p.m. to close! There will also be bikini contests, raffles, a spring break giveaway and, of course, fist pumping."

...awoww you may need to stay till tuesday

i'm so tired

but i need to find out if soccer dog survives.

(soccer dog: the movie)

greatest.
night.
ever.

additionally

last night one of the partners brought me and the other paralegal some drinks and we were like WHAT IS THIS?!?!!? cause it was clearly not the beer we had asked for just minutes before.

he responds

roofie coolada.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!




i have so many questions.
luckily, there was a camera. pictures to come.

well fine

i'm still drunk.

but i had a pepperoni pizza hot pocket and a few sips of water and i'm sure i'll barf soon.

so everything will be fine.

god.

why why why

1 comments:

said...

how will you feel the 2010 fire without 1-10 martinis?

January 6, 2010 4:35 PM

a good question.

hey everyone. remember when i thought i might not have an alcohol problem?

i don't i swear.

however, staying out till 3:30 on a wednesday was a TERRIBLE IDEA!!!!!!

oh my literally 3 hours sleep is not nearly enough. i want to die i think.

in other news: the holiday party was last night and all walls were dropped. and i think i got molested. and how do you even stay out till 3:30 on a weeknight that seems impossible.

oh gosh this day is so hard already.

bye!

this just showed up

at the top of my email.

About Today - Do You Have an Alcohol Problem?

i should mention not 5 minutes ago my coworker was telling me her resolution is to drink less. i disagreed. is someone trying to tell me something? DO I HAVE AN ALCOHOL PROBLEM?????


?????

perhaps. but i like my problem.

secondly, CAN GOOGLE FUCKING HEAR MY CONVERSATIONS>?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK GOOGLE GET OUT OF MY LIFE.


bye!